7 Simple Ways to Thrash Pakistan

As I write this article, Pakistan is 81 for 9. Yasir Arafat is batting on 22 accompanied by Iftikhar Rao. Wickets are falling all over the place. Thanks to my team, I will have a miserable day. In any case, in stead of harping about how our players suck, and how we really need to rethink our pool of players, I thought I'd write a commentary about how any team can beat Pakistan in cricket....

Oh...we're all out by the way. 89 runs...

1 - Bowl it short on a bouncy pitch. Short balls are hard to play. They are bouncy, and they are short. Not so easy to play. Put someone on third man. We like to slash viciously and get out there.

2 - On a seaming wicket, bowl straight. Nothing more to say

3 - Do not serve up slow, dusty wickets. We are bullies on those surfaces.

4 - Dive for the ball and field it athlectically. Pakistani batsman don't really see much diving since our grounds, are unfortunately not condusive to diving. But it will build the pressure and wickets will fall

5 - Misfield the ball on purpose, a Pakistani batsman will thinks its another run...and he will get run out. This always works with your 4 year old cousin in galli (street). Trust me. It will work with these guys too.

6 - We like fielding with our legs, especially at the boundary. Bending and diving is hard. (see point 4). Play shots along the ground....We will misfield on occasion. Why take the risk of lofting in the air to get quick runs, when you have a good chance of getting them with 'along the ground' shots?

7 - If none of the above works, just keep fielding well, and bowl tight...We will find a new way to get out. That's how we do...


Congratulations to South Africa. They deserved to win. I thought our bowlers did really well. Some comments about the game are in order

A - Umar Gul is really great on these types of surfaces. I am glad he got his undue credit. But why didn't they let him complete his overs?

B - Arafat for Rana? What sort of move is that. This bouncy wicket would have helped Rana's style. What we need is batsman. Yes, Arafat did well compared to the rest, but I would gotten rid of a bowler for a specialist batsman. Either way. This worked.

C - Ntini and Pollock are awesome! They are such cool bowlers to watch. Ntini, especially, has become such an amazing bowler in the past few years. Is there anyone who uses the crease so effectively?

D - Younis Khan should be dropped from the ODI team. Please believe me...

E - Afridi sucks.

F - Why were Razzak and Afridi laughing out there in the middle when we 6 down? What the hell is so funny?

G - South Africa did a great job to pull back from a loss. Its this determination that Boucher and Kemp had, that we lacked.

H - Can we not play swing and seam? And if so, why do we keep selecting players, allrounders, etxc to play on such wickets? We need batsmen of sound technique. If we can produce Mohammad Yousuf, I am sure there are a couple of guys in domestic cricket, that are talented enough to make the squad and can play the moving ball..

I - All we had to do was last the first 15 overs. We needed to block. We needed to see off Ntini and Pollock. These guys are top rated bowlers, Give them some respect. Our batmen are too comfortable in their situation. They need to shoulder more responsiblity and hold their wicket at all costs. Afridi, Hafeez, Younis played such rash shots.

I'm out...