Shoaib, Asif to get complete transfusion from Razzaq's blood

In order to remove all traces of Nandrolone from their urine in record time, the PCB has launched an incredible and impressive secret campaign. Adbul Razzaq, an important, yet replaceable member of the squad, conveniently fractured his knee just minutes before leaving for the Caribbean. In an interview, he appeared completely befuddled as to how it happened. Chloroform, anyone?

Meanwhile, the rest of the squad, including the reserves, and even a few spectators, have already pissed in cups and been cleared by some drug testing authority in Malaysia. Wasn't the movie "Entrapment", starring Sean Connery, filmed in Malaysia? Didn't Connery play Bond for a while? Wasn't "The League of Extraordinary Gentlemen" the worst film ever made? Exactly. That's shady too.

Doctors in England will be making the world's first (maybe 100th – who knows. First sounds better.) complete blood transfusion and muscle sieving procedure to remove the controversial nandrolone from Asif and Shoaib's body. Then they will use Abdul Razzaq's blood to fill them up again. It's dramatic, it's crazy, but it just might work. As long as they don't somehow infuse the two with Razzaq's somewhat insipid bowling ability, it sounds completely foolproof.

Of course, questions abound. Is the procedure safe? In particular, will Razzaq survive after donating every ounce of his blood? The answer is: who gives? We've got Azhar, haven't we? They're practically the same person.

If all goes well, Shoaib and Asif will be nandrolone-free and ready to roll when Pakistan take on the Windies in a couple of weeks. In fact, they might as well pop a few more doses while they're at it…

Co-authored by Billu.net
Cross-posted at Billu.net and Cricket Bloggers of Pakistan

Jacob Oram is one crazy SOB

This guy is nuts and he looks like a sheep farmer too!

Jacob Oram, who has a finger injury, has apparently been convinced by his medical staff or himself, that cutting his finger off actually IS the last resort for complete recovery. Here we go...

Soon after Oram suffered the injury, coaches had said he was likely to make a recovery in time for the World Cup in March but his recovery has been relatively slow and he now faces a race against time to be fit.

"We've got taping techniques and guards that fit into a batting glove, and I'm confident I'll be fine," said Oram.

"If it means cutting the finger off, if that's the last resort, I'll do that there's no way I'm missing this."

Hmm. Now if Michael Vaughan or Shoaib Akhtar would cut an injured appendage or ailing muscle off every time it got hurt, well then...Umm..nevermind. I don't like where I am going with this.

Razzaq is out of the World Cup

Abdul Razzaq has fractured his foot and is no longer going to play in the World Cup. This was certainly unexpected. I was thinking Shoaib or Asif would be the first ones replaced due to their 'injuries'.

Razzaq's like for like replacement is Azhar Mahmood, so we needn't be too upset about this. Azhar's bowling is a bit nippier than Razzaq's, though his batting is not so consistent. Plus he hasn't played international cricket in a long time. On the whole, Mahmood in the team actually works fine for me. Needless to say, its a bit sad that Razzaq is not going to play, because he is a staple member of the squad, but I think we might be better off with Azhar, especially if Shoaib and Asif don't join us soon.